The Stupid Gamer

Metroid Prime 3 releases later this month (August 27th) and there is little to no hype pushing the title. Sure, there are other heavy hitters that came out or are coming out this month as well, but there’s no reason that a title as significant and incredible as Prime 3 should be flying so far under the radar. The original Metroid Prime, and its sequel, are two of the best games that have been developed by a Nintendo 1st or 2nd party, and Metroid Prime 3 is looking to take the series to an even higher level with better graphics, a deeper gameplay experience, larger worlds, and a more involved storyline.

So why no hype? Why isn’t the game getting any sort of media blitz? I think Nintendo is making a big mistake by failing to properly advertise and promote Metroid Prime 3. They are taking for granted the existing Metroid fanbase and just assuming that they alone can make the game a sales success. In my opinion, this is pretty faulty. Sure, Wii consoles are flying off the shelves as fast as stores can stock them, but Metroid Prime 3 is the type of title that the Wii hasn’t seen much of. Prime 3 could help generate interest in the hardcore and casual markets that may not be won over by the new play styles of games like Wii Sports or Wii Play. These gamers need games like Metroid Prime 3 to justify their purchase of the Wii. These gamers need to know that Nintendo is comfortable releasing games of this scope on the Wii and that it won’t just be a one shot deal. It’s stuff like this that ultimately drove Silicon Knights and Factor 5 into the arms of Microsoft and Sony.

I still have hope that Prime 3 will see strong word of mouth support, but I’ll be surprised if it manages to push 1 million copies before the end of the year. I just would like to see Nintendo show a little faith in the project.

Yeah, it happened again. Madden rolls around and I get excited because I’m going to play in online leagues with friends. Each year I approach the game with skepticism and usually Gamefly the title until our leagues play out. This year, however, good ol’ Bryan from 1up assured us that the game was stellar and a real improvement for the series. I should have known better, especially after getting burned on NCAA Football 08.

No matter how I adjust the sliders or how I adjust my play style, each and every game features no less than 8 or 9 turnovers. That’s not realistic, that’s stupid. The last game I played was a laugher. I picked the CPU off 9 times, but fumbled it away 5. This is typical in Madden 08, not exceptional. So why did this happen? Well, first of all EA is lazy. Instead of addressing the issue of players being able to easily complete sideline passes, they cranked up the awareness of defensive backs to a level that would make Miss Cleo jealous. As soon as you release the ball defensive backs react to the throw, even if they aren’t looking. Combine that with the fact that 90% of the time a DB touches the ball he picks it off and you get games where half of the throws result in turnovers.

So what do you do when you can’t pass? Well you try to run. It’s too bad that about 10% of running plays result in fumbles. This happens because EA buttered up the ball so that you mash the “protect” button when running into a tackle. They cheat the player into using the “feature” or they face big time punishment. There’s plenty more to whine about (special teams play is crap, same generic playbooks as always, crappy presentation), but I want to attack the real issue before this goes on much longer. Why can’t reviewers call EA out a bit more? Do they really have a noose around us all? Are we afraid of pissing of the casual gamer with a negative review of such a big game?

In my opinion, Madden won’t live up to its potential until EA does the following:

• Make proper use of the license. Give us good presentation for a change. Look what VC did back in 2004 with NFL 2k5 and learn something from it.
• Toss the generic crappy playbook system and give us something deeper along the lines of All-Pro Football (and other past VC football games).
• Stop covering deep cuts with band-aids and fix the problems. Instead of cranking DB awareness and ability up to superhuman levels, FIX IT. This year they took a lazy way out.
• Find a way to eliminate online lag. The kicking game is atrocious online even with a good connection.
• GIVE US LEAGUE SUPPORT. Again, NFL 2k5 did this years ago and All-Pro Football is doing it now.
• No more gimmicks. You know what I’m talking about here. Instead of working on the core of the game, EA loves to toss in some odd gimmick year to year; mostly to help in the promotion of the game.

Maybe it’s not fair to pin this all on Bryan Intihar. I guess I just needed a face to pin to my dartboard for a moment. Sure, he was the most vocal supporter in the media as he gushed about the game for the past month, but plenty of other reviewers are guilty of the same. For some reason they whine 80% of the time through their review only to say, “but the core is solid” before slapping a 9.0 score on the game. If you’re frustrated half the time, maybe the game doesn’t deserve that 9.0. Crazy thought, huh?

So I paid my $60 and I got suckered. At least it’s still pretty fun playing online, but the game is almost garbage offline. It’s probably my fault for getting my hopes up yet again.

Despite reading like an EA press release/advertisement, the BBC managed to put their opinion out there that games need to be “more realistic.” I’m all for realism in games, but there has to be a point where you purposely suspend that realism to some degree. Even the most “realistic” games must have fantastic elements, don’t they? Let’s take a few examples of what would happen if the hyper realism switch was flipped on some of your favorite games:

NCAA Football 2008

You drop back to pass and see your receiver break into the open field just as a linebacker comes charging through a gap in the line. Instead of trying to scramble you heave the ball…TOUCHDOWN! The whole team starts to celebrate except for your poor quarterback that’s rolling around with “a broken arm.” Good thing it was an exhibition game, huh? Well, if EA wanted the game to be truly realistic, the player would miss 3-5 weeks. They’d become unplayable in the game until sufficient time was given for the player to heal. It doesn’t matter that it was an exhibition game. If somebody breaks their arm, they can’t play. But it’s cool, it’s more realistic like that, right?

Splinter Cell

For a game that’s built around trial and error stealth action, I’m pretty glad that realism is suspended enough to allow you to have continues. If you want realism, the first time you die the game should halt the spinning of the disc, scratch it to crap and de-authorize any future copies of Splinter Cell (and its sequels) from ever being played on your console again. After all, Sam Fisher is dead in your world now.

Any racing game ever

You just slammed that wall? Race over.

So do we really need for games to be more realistic? Like, do we really need it? I think it’s cool when you see touches of realism here and there in games, but I think the focus still needs to be on fun and the suspension of realism. I don’t mind improved physics, more lifelike movements, and better lighting, but I feel that “realism” is highly overrated as an attribute to any game. I just want to have fun, and I don’t need it to feel like what I’m doing in the video game world could be believable in the real world.

I’m so tired of this kind of crap. Just last night as I was watching the trailer for Resident Evil 5 with a friend I called it. I knew this would happen but I hoped it wouldn’t. Resident Evil 5 is being labeled as racist by Black Looks (http://blacklooks.org), a blog dedicated to African women. I really can’t stand it when these people butt in and jump on something that they’re totally ignorant of. Do you think Black Looks took some time to study the series before making these allegations? Obviously not.

Here’s what Black Looks had to say about Resident Evil 5:

Resident Evil 5
on July 31, 2007
Category: Racism, Africa

The new Resident Evil video game depicts a white man in what appears to be Africa killing Black people. The Black people are supposed to be zombies and the white man’s job is to destroy them and save humanity. “I have a job to do and I’m gonna see it through.”

This is problematic on so many levels, including the depiction of Black people as inhuman savages, the killing of Black people by a white man in military clothing, and the fact that this video game is marketed to children and young adults. Start them young… fearing, hating, and destroying Black people.

They even categorized it under racism. Good going. Never mind the fact that this is the 7th Resident Evil in the evolving storyline with the vast majority of zombies having been white. The witch hunt on gaming or on anything else in pop culture that can be possibly viewed as racist or insensitive is getting so bad that I have to question whether or not people actually want to help or if they just want to make a fuss.

I’m sure Black Looks does some good work and helps some people; but criticizing Resident Evil 5 is completely idiotic. I swear, if Al Sharpton jumps in this (I guess I should say when), I’ll be happy to lead the movement to give him an atomic wedgie.

Edit: Here’s another instance: The Village Voice

Every year it’s the same story. We get all these previews and early impressions of NCAA Football (or Madden) and it gets talked up like it’s the next big thing in football video games. This year a huge portion of the hype came from the 1up guys as they were claiming that EA did a great job fixing this and fine-tuning that. In the end, however, it’s the same story: NCAA Football disappoints once again.

I understand that Madden is EA Sports’ biggest focus from year to year, but why can’t a developer as large as EA put a bit stronger effort behind the NCAA team? Sure, they hear our complaints and promise to address them each year; but usually that fix is a terrible overcompensation or it manages to break some other aspect of the game.

Here’s what drives me nuts about NCAA Football 2008:

• A typical game can see 6 or 7 interceptions between the two teams; an obvious overcompensation for terrible DBs in past games
• Kick returns happen a lot. In five games I already have 3 kickoff returns and two punt returns for TDs. Ridiculous.
• Ball spotting is sketchier than an artist’s notebook
• Running is easy, even on the hardest skill levels. Expect to chew up 4-5 yards per carry at minimum.
• The play calling still isn’t as deep as it ever has been on the 2K football games
• Lots of fumbles by the AI QB
• Turnovers almost always lead to easy TDs because of the stupid momentum built into the game
• The AI still cheeses you out of wins at times
• Glitches lead to screwy on the field happenings

I thought I was alone in my criticisms of the game when I had heard so many positive impressions. To my surprise, however, I found forums around the Internet were full of topics with my same complaints. To address the cyborg-like capabilities of the defensive backs, players are setting their Interceptions and Knocked Down Passes sliders to 0 and it’s still providing 3 to 4 interceptions per game. So instead of addressing the actual issue of sketchy AI, EA just ratcheted up the ability of players in the secondary to close on the ball and snag it. This is just lazy, and it’s as transparent as can be.

He’s frowning because he knows he’s about to throw an INT.

So can NCAA Football 08 still be enjoyable? Yeah, it can. You’re just going to have to deal with plenty of moments of frustration along the way. If you’re thinking about picking the game up, try playing online rather than dealing with the computer. You’ll still have to deal with the cheesy defensive secondary and some of the glitchy moments, but somehow it’s less annoying when you’re playing against a friend or online buddy.

For the love of all that is good and holy EA…don’t shovel out another sub-par effort next year. Deep down inside, however, I know that it’s going to be the same story again. NCAA Football 09 will come out with initial praise and promises of a slew of fixes but two weeks later we’ll all be online discussing ways to circumvent the newest pitfalls and overcompensated “features.”

Note: I rarely go out and attack anybody, but when you say something this stupid, you’re not just asking for it, you’re begging. So, excuse me while I step out of character for a moment here.

Cliffy B.’s brother (and yes, that’s how I’m going to refer to him; because that’s all he is, a real somebody’s brother), opened his mouth to voice his concerns about Nintendo’s rise to dominance in the gaming industry. The full statement can be found on N’Gai Croal’s blog, but I’ll take a few excerpts here. In the opening moments of his blabbering, Cliffy’s brother says:

If Nintendo has its way, young males will no longer be the dominant segment of the console audience–and this transition appears to be happening faster than I expected. The other day I was in Target looking to pick up some games when I saw an older woman–very likely a grandmother–waiting for the clerk’s attention. She wanted him to get her a couple of games from inside the locked glass cabinet. When he asked her which ones, she stated Cooking Mama and Wii Play.

I could barely stifle a groan. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s cute that someone who likely had no idea what a video game was would suddenly plunk down her Social Security money so she can cook virtual meals, play a rousing game of table tennis and shark her little grandchildren out of their milk money in billiards.

How stupid can this guy be? What does Nintendo have to gain by skewing the gaming demographic to a younger audience? Would it make sense to target gaming to the one segment of society that has zero income and no possible way of getting to a game store themselves? Cliffy’s brother, please don’t be so stupid. On top of that, you’re assuming quite a few things about this buyer. I shouldn’t have to explain why assuming is the weakest way to build a foundation for an argument. Just because some old lady doesn’t want to buy your brother’s game (which is excellent, by the way), it dosn’t mean that money is being taken out of his pockets. She’d never otherwise be spending a single cent on gaming-related stuff.

He goes on to say:

What’s more, Nintendo has the sales figures to back up its hype. The NPD sales figures since November have been troubling to me as a hardcore gamer who loves new IPs and in-depth experiences. The Nintendo Wii has built up a ton of momentum in 2007, and despite the fact that it features an internal architecture that maxes out graphically around where the original Xbox did, it has quickly become the darling of the non-gaming press. There have been umpteen stories about the scrappy little Wii wooing non-gamers and bringing in hordes of new converts to worship at the altar of Mario.

Hey buddy, if they’re dominating the sales charts, then it’s more than the Fisher Price crowd driving figures. Again, this whole tirade was as well thought out as that time I set up dates with three different girls on the same night. It sounds like Cliffy’s brother is getting envy of the media coverage that the Wii has been getting. Well congrats, dude. We’re all talking about you now. To address your specific concern, however, it’s not just the non-gaming press that has been hyping the Wii’s success. Just about anywhere you look in the gaming industry the Wii is getting attention. The PS2 enjoyed it a few years back, why weren’t you whining about it then? Oh, it didn’t justify your tantrum…I see.

The “look at me” rant continues with:

I’m not saying that the videogame industry shouldn’t strive to bring in as many new people as possible. It most definitely should, because new gamers mean a nice, healthy business. My problem is what this new crowd appears to be drawn to. Games like Wii Sports, Wii Play and Cooking Mama have become some of the biggest sellers, and that is what has me worried. If these are the type of games that become blockbusters, then you can count on other gaming companies who cater to the more hardcore gamer–aka me and the milions of others who’ve been driving this business–to promptly change direction. If we’ve learned anything about videogame companies, it’s that they all are quick to follow each other if one is successful with something. I mean, Sony already imitated the Wii a bit with their Sixaxis controller; Microsoft followed Sony with their own EyeToy-like camera, albeit far less successfully; and Sony is now trying to replicate some kind of online service a la Xbox Live. If Nintendo winds up outselling the 360 and the PS3 by a wide margin, how soon will it be before we gamers are using the Sixaxis to chop up onions with in Metal Gear Mama? How long before we’re frantically swinging waggle remotes for tennis, bowling and golf in Halo Sports?

Wow. This is some pretty awful connecting of the dots by the brother of someone who matters. Just because new types of popular content appears in gaming, it certainly doesn’t mean that traditional experiences will die. If you want to subscribe to this logic, then you better be looking at World of Warcraft. Never has the industry seen such a money-generating monster that continues to produce revenue so long after its development cycle. Where’s the concern that all games in a few years are going to be fantasy themed MMORPGs?

No-namer, brother of Cliffy B., fires off another claim off saying:

Publishers are in the business of making money, so if they can spend six months or a year developing a mini-game package for five-year-old technology and make more profits than they would by spending 2-3 years crafting a long and detailed experience, you can bet your Wiimote that that’s exactly what they’ll do.If casual games become the industry’s primary money-making vehicle, these mini-game collections and more casual games could wind up completely redefining the market. I don’t think we’re far off from the day when Hannah Montana Wii and Wii Sports 2 dominate the NPD charts.

So what’s the claim here? All of sudden are “epic” games like Oblivion, Halo, Zelda, Metal Gear, and Final Fantasy are struggling to sell? Boy, that’s news to me. Maybe crappy games that spend 2-3 years in development will disappear, but you’ll never see the day when Konami decides to shelve Metal Gear in favor of a mini-game collection. That’s just pure ignorance and fanboy-fueled thought. Oh, and in EVERY SINGLE GENERATION, it’s been the casual gamer’s dollar that has driven the market. The hardcore demographic is much, much, smaller than the casual crowd. For somebody that has such strong opinions on the industry, it would help if Cliffy’s brother had some understanding of it.

Yeah, it goes on…:

Some will likely argue that these more casual games are a gateway drug for new users. They’ll claim that we should be happy because it will bring a whole new group of people into gaming. I find it hard to believe that something like Wii Play could lead to someone like the little old lady I saw in the store playing Metroid Prime 3. I just don’t see it happening. These same people didn’t jump into hardcore games before the Wii, but they’re suddenly going to do it now because they had some fun playing virtual bowling? I seriously doubt that. She’s not going to go from creating a meal in Cooking Mama to saving Zelda. She’s never going to defend Sera, guide Reggie Bush into the end zone, or venture into Liberty City.

Again, Mr. Cliffy’s brother is merely assuming. In fact, in most other industries, it is the “casual” buyer’s product that eventually creates the hardcore following. The first games I played on the Atari 2600 and Commodore 64 were generally casual affairs. At that time, I needed stuff like Combat before I could jump into The Bard’s Tale. The Wii provides a new entry point into gaming. How could anybody see that as a bad thing unless they completely misguided?

To close things off, Cliffy’s brother offered the following:

I think Mike Myers’ Wayne Campbell said it best in “Wayne’s World” when he was talking about that tool Benjamin Kane, played so memorably by Rob Lowe. “It’s like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn’t write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.” That statement could very well apply to the Wii and its software lineup.

Me? I’ll take “Kashmir” over “Staying Alive” any day of the week.

I believe that you must offer accessible, or if you prefer, “safe” content for casuals to consume so that more niche, or hardcore, content can survive. It is the casual gamer’s dollar that drives our industry in the end. They are the ones that come out annually to support EA’s Madden, buy of insane amounts of software during the holidays, and line developer’s pockets with cash between the release of their major titles aimed at the hardcore gamer. Without games that offer mass appeal, casual gamers would bail. If casual gamers were to bail, you could bet that another industry crash would follow shortly after.

As for the concerns that these mini-games are cheap content with no real substance…well, a lot of times you find out what you like by comparison of choices. If new gamers are never introduced into this hobby because they find it inaccessible, they ultimately won’t ever come to know the deeper experience that may be there for them to find. Try convinving somebody who has never played a board game to sit down and enjoy Settler’s of Catan. It’s not going to happen, is it? Maybe Monopoly is so successful for a good reason.

In the end I probably shouldn’t have given this guy’s comments any play, but I’m starting to get sick of people feeling victimized because their favorite videogame company isn’t on top. Deal with it. It’s life. It’s like Nintendo walked into his house, stole his binky, and later showed up on the TV like a cartoon villain waving it around with a sinister “If you ever want to see…” type of message. While you’ve managed to rally a few thousand fanboys, Mr. Cliffy’s brother, your rant was ultimately more telling of your own inability to understand the gaming industry rather than a valid criticism of industry trends. It’s really message board banter at best. Better luck next time.

Here is a list of people. I would also like to hear from their brothers on the gaming industry:

[Editor's note: After realizing that there never has been an instance when anybody's brother has had a meaningful and well-thought response to current trends in the industry, the list was nixed.]

I rarely use the blog as a space to whine, but there is a bit of a point to this. Just last night I went online and I played my first ranked match of FIFA ‘07 on Xbox Live. I picked Real Madrid once I noticed that the other player was choosing Italy (of course). I’ve been using Real Madrid in a league I’m a part of, and I wanted more practice with the team, and I figured they’d be a pretty fair match for Italy.

I score the first goal early on to make it 1-0 and the other player soon answers back to make it 1-1. During this time neither of us has said a single word…no trash talk, no congrats. In the second half of the game I picked up a couple of quick goals to gain a 3-1 advantage, and this joker decides that he’s going to ruin the rest of the experience. Instead of playing, he just constantly slide tackles my guys; drawing many fouls in the process. Eventually, with only a few minutes left on the clock he injures one of my players, so I have to sub him out. Once I start the process, the guy goes off and starts questioning my mental capacity and my sexual orientation all in very, ahem, colorful language. I just let him know that I have to sub out the guy because he’s injured. Well, after that he just keeps on with the slide tackles, so I decide to slam one more goal into the net, ending the game at 4-1. He logs off, and I figure that’s the end of it.

A few minutes later I check my rep and the guy has left me negative feedback and said that I quit the match early. What’s annoying is that it’s the first blemish on my rep, and I can’t respond to it in any way. At least eBay lets you respond to negative comments.

I can live with the bad feedback. I’m sure it will happen in the future, even when I’m being cordial. Why does this have to happen, though? Why can’t we just enjoy our hobby and accept defeat or win with class? If this was my first experience with Xbox Live, I’d wonder if I would want to return. Back on the original Xbox I stopped playing online for this sort of thing. At least this time around enough of my friends have 360s that I can just play with them and avoid the jackasses online. It’s a shame that I have to do that though.

Ah, how I miss the days of the arcade…there was nothing to hide behind. If you lost, you drooped your head and got back in line to challenge the current champ once more. If you won, you accepted the next opponent with a nod and gave it your all.

I guess I shouldn’t expect people to live to any sort of standard or ethics in the online gaming world. I’m probably being naive to hope for better. But hey, wouldn’t it be great if could all just play fair?

I’ve already shipped two Xbox 360s to Microsoft for repair (which actually were replaced with refurbished models), and now my third system is starting to show signs that it’s going to fail. Last night, in less than an hour of play time, my Xbox 360 froze up four times. Lately the 360 has been freezing on me and it’s been pretty annoying. I haven’t seen any red rings yet, but I get the feeling that they can’t be more than a few weeks away.

So what’s the deal here? Is Microsoft going to keep denying that there are serious quality control issues with Xbox 360 production? How long before the class-action suits start appearing?

I love my Xbox 360, and I play it more than any other console right now, but Microsoft needs to address these issues soon or I’ll be hard pressed to support them in the next generation early on. Until last generation, I had never had a console fail on me (which coincidentally was an Xbox), and now I’m looking at a third console death in less than two years.

Fix your faulty console, Microsoft. And quit charging us each time one of your faulty boxes breaks down.

This comes via GameAlmighty.com (thanks for the heads up email). Here’s the letter everybody’s favorite attorney mailed off:

Chief Wendell Flinchum

Virginia Tech Police Department

Blacksburg, Virginia Via Fax and e-mail

 

Dear Chief Flinchum:

The news story in yesterday’s Washington Post proves correct my prediction to your Department Monday that Cho, whose identity was not even know to me at the time, would be a video gamer trained to do what he calmly did on a violent shooter video game.

I went on the Fox News Channel Monday and even identified the game, Counterstrike, obsessively played by Cho, which was also used by Robert Steinhaeuser to author what is now the second worst school shooting in world history in Erfurt, Germany, which he also concluded by killing himself. These are not coincidences; these are patterns.

Further corroboration that this is “life imitating art,” or more accurately “death imitating toxic entertainment” is what is now coming to light as to Cho’s copycatting of a certain violent movie as well. This is generally the case: movie + shooter games = massacre.

I have seen it all before in the Paducah school shootings, where I represented the families of the victims of Michael Carneal, a teen gamer who trained on Doom and was inspired by the Hollywood movie The Basketball Diaries. A Yale psychiatrist said so.

I went on NBC’s Today Show and predicted Columbine one week before it happened, identifying the above two specific move and game entertainment products that Klebold and Harris were also obsessed with.

If your Department really wants to get to the bottom of this, you need to talk to me now. Talk also to my dear friend, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, who was singled out by President Clinton as “the one man America should listen to as to why Columbine happened.” Grossman’s book, On Killing, was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. He and I have addressed national television audiences, state and federal governments, and law enforcement officers about the direct causal nexus between what happened on Monday and violent entertainment consumed by young people, who are then consumed by it.

Personal regards, Jack Thompson

Wow. See GameAlmighty.com’s full writeup on the piece here: Clickity 

I’d comment, but I’m sick of talking about Jack Thompson. I’m not tired of posting about him, however, because it’s great material for scoring hits and possible ad clicks. Expect more JT posts, less JT talk.

Mere hours after the shootings at the Virginia Tech campus, the likes of Dr. Phil and Jack Thompson were on TV laying the blame on video games and their effects on the mindset of teens. Well, after a search of Cho’s dorm room, not a single video game was found. Obviously it is what we rational people expected: Cho was disturbed and twisted, and video games were not to blame for that.

I know that people are angry and that they’re looking for an answer. The truth is that evil exists independent of video games. People all throughout history have displayed disturbing and violent behavior. To pin it all on a popular past time that’s only been around for 30 years or so is silly.

I feel for the victims, their friends, and their families. I just hope that people will stop chasing TV cameras to throw out their “expert” opinions on why this happened. At this point it’s pretty clear that Cho was simply a bad person with a grudge against society.