The Stupid Gamer

So April was a month everybody was watching to see how GTA IV would affect the sales landscape. Could the PS3 version move new hardware? Could GTA, a traditionally strong Sony fan title, sell more on the PS3 than the 360? Could the game propel either platform ahead of the Wii for the month? Well, here are the numbers, they clear things up quite easily.

Hardware

Nintendo Wii - 714,200
Nintendo DS - 414,800
Sony PSP - 192,000
Xbox 360 - 188,000
PlayStation 3 - 187,100
PlayStation 2 - 124,400

Software Top Ten

360 - Grand Theft Auto IV 1,850,000
Wii - Mario Kart w/ wheel 1,120,000
PS3 - Grand Theft Auto IV 1,000,000
Wii - Wii Play 360,000
Wii - Super Smash Bros. Brawl 326,000
PS3 - Gran Turismo 5: Prologue 224,000
NDS - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness 202,000
NDS - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time 202,000
Wii - Guitar Hero III 152,000
360 - Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 141,000

Breakdown: Wii (4), DS (2), 360 (2), PS3 (2)

I’m still confused by a few things here. I don’t understand how the PSP can be consistently beating out the 360 and PS3, yet its games aren’t charting. It seems that there are a lot of people still picking up PSPs, but that they’re either very stingy with their software money or they’re just flat out using the machine for other purposes. It’s no surprise that GTA IV came in first this month, but has to be a bit shocking that Mario Kart managed to beat out the PS3 version of GTA. It’s pretty crazy how Guitar Hero III for the Wii and Call of Duty 4 for the 360 just refuse to let go of a spot in the top ten.

So, what effect did GTA IV have? Basically none. It didn’t move new units, and it didn’t slow down the Wii or DS. Yes, it sold a lot of copies, but it seems that rather than move new hardware, it just became the bright spot in the software charts. I think both Sony and Microsoft were expecting much more of a bump.

CBS announced that they are acquiring CNET, including the popular gaming site, Gamespot. The move will give CBS a share in the coveted top 10 Internet destinations with the acquisition, and help them become a major player in the world of tech and video game journalism. The deal includes the full CNET umbrella, which is comprised of CNET, ZDNet, GameSpot.com, TV.com, CNET News, UrbanBaby, BNET, and Search.com. Estimates claim that the network receives more than 200 million monthly viewers, with over 54 million of them being unique users. Pretty impressive.

So does this mean anything for Gamespot? Not really. If you recall, IGN was bought out by News Corp (Fox) a while back and it really didn’t make any noticeable differences.

Arcades might be on the way out, but they’re not going away completely. Instead of just becoming relics of the past, they’ve slowly made their ways into the hands of private collectors. These collectors often evolve from casual admirer to avid arcade addict. Below are some signs that you’ve crossed over the oh so fragile line.

-You can identify an Electrohome G07 monitor chassis in under 3 seconds from a crappy cell phone pic posted on a message board
-RGVAC, KLOV, VAPS, GGDB, and BYOAC all mean something to you
-HUO, JAMMA, NIB, MCR, PCB, MVS, NOS, DMM, MAME, CRT, and CPO all mean something to you as well
-Leaf and cherry aren’t parts of a tree in your vocabulary
-Your garage hasn’t seen a car parked in it for ages
-You’ve checked and you’re sure there’s room for a Galaga cabaret between your toilet and bathroom sink
-That pile of wires isn’t junk, it’s a vital piece to a very worthwhile project
-You can recite the serial numbers to your cabs as quickly as your own phone number
-You have Bob Roberts’ home address memorized
-You can spot the differences between lemon yellow, sunflower yellow, electric yellow, Simpson yellow, and Pac-Man yellow
-You feel a bit of warmth each time you get change and you notice at least one quarter in the mix
-You have several Journey songs on your iPod
-You know every clever, dirty, or disturbing 3 letter word or abbreviation possible in the English language
-Cocktails are perfectly safe for minors in your home
-You can’t pass an arcade machine in the wild without molesting it in some fashion
-You’re over 30, but you’re still not afraid to play with a dolly in front of your friends
-You have RSS feeds on craigslist, every local classified, and other arcade listing services that you check at least 20 times per day
-You bought up your city’s remaining stock of solder when you heard lead was being phased out
-You’ve picked a side in the Billy vs. Steve ongoing battle
-You have more projects than Detroit

If you can think of any more surefire signs that you’re an arcade addict, feel free to post them in the comments below.

Not a real stellar week for releases, but We Ski has been getting positive buzz when used with the balance board. It’s kind of weird that they wouldn’t hold that game until Wii Fit launches with the board. Myst is making a come back on the DS, hopefully that encourages Sierra (Vivendi) and LucasArts to re-release their classic adventure games.

Xbox 360:

Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

PlayStation 3:

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Nintendo Wii:

We Ski
Deca Sports
Castle of Shikigami III
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Nintendo DS:

ATV Thunder/Monster Trucks
Drone Tactics
Myst
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

PlayStation 2:

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The famed Pirates of the Caribbean film director, Gore Verbinski, is going to direct the film adaptation of the 2K hit, BioShock. Variety broke the news, and they also confirmed that John Logan is in talks now to write the screenplay. For those that aren’t familiar with John Logan, he has writing credits on quite a few notable films, including Gladiator, The Last Samurai, The Aviator, and Sweeney Todd. You can view his IMDB page, here: John Logan. BioShock is the first movie deal for 2K Games.

Click the pic to buy BioShock for the Xbox 360 from Amazon. Do it.

BioShock was my runner-up for game of the year last year, and I feel it’s one of the finest games available for the Xbox 360. I know most game movies are terrible, but given the setting and style of BioShock, I think they might be able to pull off something spectacular. I just really hope they don’t play with the story or themes too much, because the game is a true masterpiece from both visual and storytelling standpoints. If you own a 360 and still haven’t played BioShock…I hate your face.

I’m ok with DLC, but I feel that there needs to be some sort of value in it. The thing I really hate, however, is how developers are removing unlockable content, cool bonuses, and in-game rewards from games so that they can offer them up to gamers for a fee. With some games it’s been blatantly obvious that they’ve withheld content from the final product that was ready at launch time so that they could screw gamers. Well, as excited as I am for Ninja Gaiden II, what Team Ninja is doing for Ninja Gaiden’s first DLC is stupid.

Three costume packs are being released in July for download for 200 Microsoft points ($2.50) each. In the past, costumes were just part of what you’d unlock for playing the game, but this time you have to pay. To make things more ridiculous, the first costume pack will only be available for the first 39,000 gamers to purchase them. So basically Team Ninja is attempting to create a panic within their hardcore fanbase to ensure that they gobble up the DLC quickly. So if you’re a big Ninja Gaiden fan, you’re going to have to shell out your $60 on day one, and then quickly drop another $2.50 to get what you used to get for free. Oh, and you better be quick, because if you aren’t, someone else will be! Who wants to take bets on how long it takes before they re-release the pack for anybody to buy? 2 months?

Now I’ve already got my preorder in for this game, but Team Ninja can go suck on it if they think I’m going to get won over and suckered by these money grubbing tactics. Way to show some appreciation for your fans, Team Ninja.

LAME!

The much hyped and often promised open beta for LittleBigPlanet is sadly not going to happen. Sony confirmed to PS3Fanboy at the recent PlayStation Day event that there would be no open beta, despite having promised it repeatedly to eagerly awaiting fans. The game will still see a beta phase (obviously), but it will be handled internally by Sony teams. The game is still slated to release in October, but the news still burns a bit.

I know the game has been out for a while, but I really wanted to get some quality time in before offering up some final opinions on Mario Kart Wii. The game has taken a bit of a beating from popular gaming sites and has been given lukewarm reviews. Some reviewers *cough* 1up *cough* are even calling it “Mario Kart for babies.” Other reviewers like it, and have been calling it a good mix of Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and Mario Kart DS. So how did I feel about it after a couple of weeks playing the game online and off? Keep reading, fellas.

First off, yes, Mario Kart Wii played it conservative. The game doesn’t make any huge leaps forward in any regard, but it does work toward refining the tried and true Mario Kart formula. The single player consists of the familiar Grand Prix, Time Trials, and Battle modes, each with varying levels of difficulty and speeds. To start, only four cups are unlocked for Grand Prix, so you’ll have some work to do before you can have access to all the tracks the game offers.

I’m a bit confused why the IGN boys were harping on the game’s sense of speed. I think even at 50cc the game has felt as fast as any other Mario Kart, and definitely faster than Double Dash!!. Maybe the wide open tracks made things feel a bit slower, as compared to the tighter tracks found in older Mario Kart titles, which force you to turn and slide more aggressively.

The classic rubber band gameplay is still in full effect in MK Wii. A narrow lead is rarely safe, but if you can manage to build a significant lead over your rivals, it’s fairly simple to hang onto it through the race. Yes, you’ll have to deal with lightning bolts and blue shells, but you’ll benefit from them at the right times as well. I’ve never understood the rubber band complaint in Mario Kart. It’s not so drastic that the best racers struggle to win, it just keeps the stinkers from getting lapped too often.

The tracks in the game are very bright and pretty. There are some new twists thrown in on some tracks, such as using half pipes to earn boosts and different types of boost arrows. The locations are still character based, but they remain a loose connection. The game also includes many tracks from the SNES, GBA, N64, and GameCube versions of Mario Kart, which are playable in single player, multiplayer, and online modes.

The online modes are smooth as silk. While the game is lacking voice chat (or even text chat), the experience is 100% lag free and matchmaking is very fast. You can play regionally, on a worldwide level, or with friends only. The level of activity is high, so even during late night searches during the mid-week you’ll find people willing to play in either Battle or Race modes. I’d love to have seen voice chat, but it’s not too bad playing without it.

The gameplay itself is tight, but it has been simplified a bit to make the game more accessible. If you wish, you can make your sliding automatic, but you won’t get speed boosts from them unless you execute them manually. This is to allow veterans to earn their boosts the hard way, while still keeping the door open for newcomers. There is a bit of waggle involved, but it’s minimal. On jumps, if you shake the controller you’ll get a speed boost upon coming down. This hurts those that are planning on using the classic controller or a GameCube controller, so I’d advise using the Wii remote and nunchuck setup. Some may lament the choice to make the game more accessible, but really, hasn’t that been what Mario Kart has been about from the beginning? In the end, I think it will prove to be a good move, as new players can ease into the experience and gradually move over to the more advanced styles of play.

Overall I’m very pleased with Mario Kart Wii. I think they could stand to evolve the series a bit more than by just adding more types of karts and motorcylces, but I’m never going to be disappointed with the proven formula getting a fresh dusting off and sprucing up. In the end, I feel safe recommending the game for Mario Kart vets and newcomers alike.

Stupid Gamer score: 8/10

In a recent article put out by Forbes, silliness is put to paper by pen. In an attempt to hitch a ride to the GTA IV hype train, Forbes is trying to say that the lack of GTA could spell doom for the Wii’s success in the long term. They claim that GTA IV is going to sell consoles and since the Wii isn’t seeing a GTA release that they’ll lose out on many buyers. Seriously.

So why didn’t it hurt the Wii when they didn’t get Halo 3? What about Gears of War? BioShock? Hmmm, maybe because the average Wii buyer doesn’t care about those games. If the Wii is targeting a new market, than hit franchises from the past aren’t really going to matter much to the Wii’s success in either the short or long term. Forbes should probably go back to tracking some financial reports from some stupid Malaysian tech company we’ve never heard of or something. That might be for the best.

Original Forbes article: Shameless attempt to chime in on GTA IV

Boom Blox and SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1 are the two titles I’ll be grabbing this week. There’s nothing coming out for the 360, and the PS3 is only getting a CoD 4 re-release, so this is going to be a good week for everybody out there to work on their backlogs or to check out some titles that they may have missed.

PlayStation 3:

Call of Duty 4: Game of the Year Edition

Nintendo Wii:

The Dog Island
Boom Blox
Speed Racer
Rebel Raiders: Operation Nighthawk

Virtual Console:

Renegade (NES)
Pokemon Puzzle League (N64)

Sony PSP:

SNK Arcade Classics Volume 1
R-Type Command

Nintendo DS:

Brain Voyage
Crosswords DS
Speed Racer