The Stupid Gamer

Note: I rarely go out and attack anybody, but when you say something this stupid, you’re not just asking for it, you’re begging. So, excuse me while I step out of character for a moment here.

Cliffy B.’s brother (and yes, that’s how I’m going to refer to him; because that’s all he is, a real somebody’s brother), opened his mouth to voice his concerns about Nintendo’s rise to dominance in the gaming industry. The full statement can be found on N’Gai Croal’s blog, but I’ll take a few excerpts here. In the opening moments of his blabbering, Cliffy’s brother says:

If Nintendo has its way, young males will no longer be the dominant segment of the console audience–and this transition appears to be happening faster than I expected. The other day I was in Target looking to pick up some games when I saw an older woman–very likely a grandmother–waiting for the clerk’s attention. She wanted him to get her a couple of games from inside the locked glass cabinet. When he asked her which ones, she stated Cooking Mama and Wii Play.

I could barely stifle a groan. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s cute that someone who likely had no idea what a video game was would suddenly plunk down her Social Security money so she can cook virtual meals, play a rousing game of table tennis and shark her little grandchildren out of their milk money in billiards.

How stupid can this guy be? What does Nintendo have to gain by skewing the gaming demographic to a younger audience? Would it make sense to target gaming to the one segment of society that has zero income and no possible way of getting to a game store themselves? Cliffy’s brother, please don’t be so stupid. On top of that, you’re assuming quite a few things about this buyer. I shouldn’t have to explain why assuming is the weakest way to build a foundation for an argument. Just because some old lady doesn’t want to buy your brother’s game (which is excellent, by the way), it dosn’t mean that money is being taken out of his pockets. She’d never otherwise be spending a single cent on gaming-related stuff.

He goes on to say:

What’s more, Nintendo has the sales figures to back up its hype. The NPD sales figures since November have been troubling to me as a hardcore gamer who loves new IPs and in-depth experiences. The Nintendo Wii has built up a ton of momentum in 2007, and despite the fact that it features an internal architecture that maxes out graphically around where the original Xbox did, it has quickly become the darling of the non-gaming press. There have been umpteen stories about the scrappy little Wii wooing non-gamers and bringing in hordes of new converts to worship at the altar of Mario.

Hey buddy, if they’re dominating the sales charts, then it’s more than the Fisher Price crowd driving figures. Again, this whole tirade was as well thought out as that time I set up dates with three different girls on the same night. It sounds like Cliffy’s brother is getting envy of the media coverage that the Wii has been getting. Well congrats, dude. We’re all talking about you now. To address your specific concern, however, it’s not just the non-gaming press that has been hyping the Wii’s success. Just about anywhere you look in the gaming industry the Wii is getting attention. The PS2 enjoyed it a few years back, why weren’t you whining about it then? Oh, it didn’t justify your tantrum…I see.

The “look at me” rant continues with:

I’m not saying that the videogame industry shouldn’t strive to bring in as many new people as possible. It most definitely should, because new gamers mean a nice, healthy business. My problem is what this new crowd appears to be drawn to. Games like Wii Sports, Wii Play and Cooking Mama have become some of the biggest sellers, and that is what has me worried. If these are the type of games that become blockbusters, then you can count on other gaming companies who cater to the more hardcore gamer–aka me and the milions of others who’ve been driving this business–to promptly change direction. If we’ve learned anything about videogame companies, it’s that they all are quick to follow each other if one is successful with something. I mean, Sony already imitated the Wii a bit with their Sixaxis controller; Microsoft followed Sony with their own EyeToy-like camera, albeit far less successfully; and Sony is now trying to replicate some kind of online service a la Xbox Live. If Nintendo winds up outselling the 360 and the PS3 by a wide margin, how soon will it be before we gamers are using the Sixaxis to chop up onions with in Metal Gear Mama? How long before we’re frantically swinging waggle remotes for tennis, bowling and golf in Halo Sports?

Wow. This is some pretty awful connecting of the dots by the brother of someone who matters. Just because new types of popular content appears in gaming, it certainly doesn’t mean that traditional experiences will die. If you want to subscribe to this logic, then you better be looking at World of Warcraft. Never has the industry seen such a money-generating monster that continues to produce revenue so long after its development cycle. Where’s the concern that all games in a few years are going to be fantasy themed MMORPGs?

No-namer, brother of Cliffy B., fires off another claim off saying:

Publishers are in the business of making money, so if they can spend six months or a year developing a mini-game package for five-year-old technology and make more profits than they would by spending 2-3 years crafting a long and detailed experience, you can bet your Wiimote that that’s exactly what they’ll do.If casual games become the industry’s primary money-making vehicle, these mini-game collections and more casual games could wind up completely redefining the market. I don’t think we’re far off from the day when Hannah Montana Wii and Wii Sports 2 dominate the NPD charts.

So what’s the claim here? All of sudden are “epic” games like Oblivion, Halo, Zelda, Metal Gear, and Final Fantasy are struggling to sell? Boy, that’s news to me. Maybe crappy games that spend 2-3 years in development will disappear, but you’ll never see the day when Konami decides to shelve Metal Gear in favor of a mini-game collection. That’s just pure ignorance and fanboy-fueled thought. Oh, and in EVERY SINGLE GENERATION, it’s been the casual gamer’s dollar that has driven the market. The hardcore demographic is much, much, smaller than the casual crowd. For somebody that has such strong opinions on the industry, it would help if Cliffy’s brother had some understanding of it.

Yeah, it goes on…:

Some will likely argue that these more casual games are a gateway drug for new users. They’ll claim that we should be happy because it will bring a whole new group of people into gaming. I find it hard to believe that something like Wii Play could lead to someone like the little old lady I saw in the store playing Metroid Prime 3. I just don’t see it happening. These same people didn’t jump into hardcore games before the Wii, but they’re suddenly going to do it now because they had some fun playing virtual bowling? I seriously doubt that. She’s not going to go from creating a meal in Cooking Mama to saving Zelda. She’s never going to defend Sera, guide Reggie Bush into the end zone, or venture into Liberty City.

Again, Mr. Cliffy’s brother is merely assuming. In fact, in most other industries, it is the “casual” buyer’s product that eventually creates the hardcore following. The first games I played on the Atari 2600 and Commodore 64 were generally casual affairs. At that time, I needed stuff like Combat before I could jump into The Bard’s Tale. The Wii provides a new entry point into gaming. How could anybody see that as a bad thing unless they completely misguided?

To close things off, Cliffy’s brother offered the following:

I think Mike Myers’ Wayne Campbell said it best in “Wayne’s World” when he was talking about that tool Benjamin Kane, played so memorably by Rob Lowe. “It’s like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn’t write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.” That statement could very well apply to the Wii and its software lineup.

Me? I’ll take “Kashmir” over “Staying Alive” any day of the week.

I believe that you must offer accessible, or if you prefer, “safe” content for casuals to consume so that more niche, or hardcore, content can survive. It is the casual gamer’s dollar that drives our industry in the end. They are the ones that come out annually to support EA’s Madden, buy of insane amounts of software during the holidays, and line developer’s pockets with cash between the release of their major titles aimed at the hardcore gamer. Without games that offer mass appeal, casual gamers would bail. If casual gamers were to bail, you could bet that another industry crash would follow shortly after.

As for the concerns that these mini-games are cheap content with no real substance…well, a lot of times you find out what you like by comparison of choices. If new gamers are never introduced into this hobby because they find it inaccessible, they ultimately won’t ever come to know the deeper experience that may be there for them to find. Try convinving somebody who has never played a board game to sit down and enjoy Settler’s of Catan. It’s not going to happen, is it? Maybe Monopoly is so successful for a good reason.

In the end I probably shouldn’t have given this guy’s comments any play, but I’m starting to get sick of people feeling victimized because their favorite videogame company isn’t on top. Deal with it. It’s life. It’s like Nintendo walked into his house, stole his binky, and later showed up on the TV like a cartoon villain waving it around with a sinister “If you ever want to see…” type of message. While you’ve managed to rally a few thousand fanboys, Mr. Cliffy’s brother, your rant was ultimately more telling of your own inability to understand the gaming industry rather than a valid criticism of industry trends. It’s really message board banter at best. Better luck next time.

Here is a list of people. I would also like to hear from their brothers on the gaming industry:

[Editor's note: After realizing that there never has been an instance when anybody's brother has had a meaningful and well-thought response to current trends in the industry, the list was nixed.]

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 10th, 2007 at 10:53 pm and is filed under Editorials and Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.